Black Betty.

There is approximately seven billion of us. Think about it for a second. I am one of seven billion. If there are so many people on this earth why do we act like what we do individually matters. Hell, why do I wake up everyday and think that what I do is going to matter. I am just a simple dot on this place so it's pointless for me to go around and do things like someone cares.
What is the point of all this? What is the point of me going to school for the next five weeks and get a degree when I know I won't be working in that field...maybe the point is to get drunk and get laid, maybe the point is to believe in some divine being and living a life in a specific way to please this being.

Eventually everything that you see
Will deteriorate and evaporate,
Everyone that you met will turn into dust,
You won't remember them, they won't remember you.

Tonight is one of those nights where I wish I lived close to the ocean.

.......none of this matters anyways, I'm just one of seven billion.

June 20, 11:21PM

It's not fair that I finally meet the people I've been looking for since the day I started SJSU.
Why does this have to happen now, right before my last year of college?
Why couldn't I meet these people during my freshman year or heck, even a year earlier.
It's not fair that just when things seem to be falling in place, I start my last year of college.
Why couldn't all this happen a year ago?
Why couldn't I meet these people earlier?
Why does life have to be so cruel?

I feel like I have been punched in the gut, and all I want to do is scream out in frustration.
The fact that I can't do anything about the situation just bothers me more.
It bothers me how these things are out of my control.